Good Bad Indifferent

How can one person mess with your emotions so easily without even knowing it?

It sucks!

Best Day

Yesterday was just about one of the best days ever.

  • Had two friend’s birthdays
  • Went for a walk
  • Went on a huge Ferris wheel by the beach with Mum
  • Had a really cute guy play guitar and sing Chasing Cars and his own original song to us
  • Got a cute photo with him  

It was a damn good day :) 

A rock that reminded me of a duck… taken somewhere in the Grampians; I forget where exactly.

A rock that reminded me of a duck… taken somewhere in the Grampians; I forget where exactly.

Just random pictures I took…

Hates…but loves…

How you’re over someone and then you’re not. Some say that means you never were over them to begin with. I disagree. They’re just that person that no matter what, how long they’re out of your life…you’ll always feel something for them. Sometimes it’s just stronger than other days. Those weaker days are the times that you’re over them.

For me, he’s that friend that I used to have. The guy that my bestfriend liked, so therefore I could do nothing about my own feelings. He was that guy (I found out later) who’d go home with a big smile on his face and happily tell his sister that we talked that day. He was the guy who quickly ran home to ask his mum if he could go to watch my debate. He was the person who first told me that I should have won best speaker that day. He would come to me for advice. He’s the guy I once yelled at for cutting his hair too short, and the one that replied he had to cut it for his cousin’s wedding. He’s the person I discussed Supernatural with, I remember that his favorite episode was the one that had a ghost truck that tried to kill people. He’s the guy that I wrote letters to, the guy whom wrote back in sloppy handwriting. The person who gave me his school photo-asking for mine in return. The guy who kept those letters and photo in a shoe box underneath his bed. He’s the one who told his older sister that I looked pretty in a photo she took of me. He’s a guy that isn’t the greatest to look at but I didn’t (don’t) give a fuck…he was him, that’s all I cared about. He’s the one I went with to a water park, that day was pretty crap…we didn’t talk much and it was awkward however there was this one moment (maybe a couple) where we stood-so close, nearly touching-underneath this giant bucket full of water that falls over to allow all contents to fall onto the poor people underneath; us. I remember before this horrible day, once when he was at my house…telling him to stay in the tv room while I went to my bedroom to get my playstation…I remember him not listening and following me instead. Nothing happened, I guess he was just curious. Once he asked me if I liked him, I told him a half-truth… saying that I used to- I’d do anything to take those words back.

There’s so many more little things that I remember about him, but I won’t say them. Even though we haven’t talked for ages I feel like I want to send him a message and be friends with him once again…although I don’t know if I could handle just that; I might, no would, want more. I’m scared of rejection, that he might not even respond to the message. I’m terrified that I’ll continually fall for him. I wish I had the guts to send him something like this… any other guy and I possibly would. I’d count to three and hit send, but he’s different. He’s Blake, though i have no right saying it…he’s my Blake. The guy that will forever send my heart racing. The one who’ll never see this. I miss him. 

This is pretty long and I don’t care.

Thoughts…

It’s not worth being angry at someone…

It’s not worth the pain, especially when it can be fixed.

Sometimes you have to be the bigger person and apologise for your part in a fight. A lot of people say that the words “I’m sorry” mean nothing, but that’s not true. If you say it right, if your body language is sincere-you’re looking them in the eye-they can be powerful words. If you are actually sorry…that person will know.

If you both said things in the fight that were uncalled for and the other doesn’t say those words…it’s alright. I believe that them just forgiving you is in its own way an apology. Getting over things can be quite hard, a lot of the time a fight has the chance of turning into something way bigger than it was to begin with…you start to even forget why you were angry at the person. It’s best to apologise as soon as you can…during a fight, time can distort what you were arguing about in the beginning.

If you want to find out what happened, hear both sides of the story, cut both of them in half, merge those halves together and you’ve probably got what actually happened. It doesn’t mean that either person was lying…they both just took away different elements that happened or believe something they think they heard the other say to be true.

At times though…you have to realise that some people are just not worth it. They bring more pain to you than happiness. On these occasions you need to say goodbye to them. They’re not worth the hassle and hurt they bring with them. 

One of my drawings; far from completion, but it’s getting there.

One of my drawings; far from completion, but it’s getting there.

One day your life will flash before your eyes. Make sure it’s worth watching
Gerard Way